My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
