If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
