well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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