hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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