he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize