Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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