dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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