you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
