would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize