Joe is yelling at the trees again.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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