it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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