So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
