I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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