apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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