bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
