I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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