he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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