so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
