At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
