sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
