But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
