i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
