SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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