everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
