East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
