I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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