I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I could make wine with my vomit
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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