i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
