Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
