I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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