I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I supernannyed him into submission
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
