Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
