i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
