you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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