Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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