Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
