If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize