bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
nutella sex= disaster
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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