***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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