Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
We smell like vodka and hangover
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