is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
