and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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