You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize