there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
