So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
