your thong is hanging out like whoa
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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