That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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