margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
