Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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