Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
