I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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