Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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