Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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