508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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