so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize