no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
