Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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