i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
