now i know why i became what i already was.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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