Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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