Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
