I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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