I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
be right there i have to get my cape
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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