I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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