I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
