We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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