North Korea, Best Korea!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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