He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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