i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
