just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
