Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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