Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
