my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
