Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm bleeding and have questions
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
