Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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