1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
