You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
