i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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